widgets defined

5 01 2009

actually widget has many definitions….

(n.) – a small bead-like device placed in the bottom of cans and bottles of beer to aid in the generation of froth.

(n.) – a placeholder name for an object or, more specifically, a mechanical or other manufactured device in economics.

(n.) – Nickname of the delta-shaped logo used by Delta Air Lines.

However, today I want to talk about the annoying kind of widgets…. Web widget, a physically-inspired applet on the web. Why you might ask? To that I ask, why do you want to know? Either read it, or don’t. Crisis averted! anyway….

Web Widget – (n.) portable chunk of code that can be installed and executed within any separate HTML-based web page by an end user without requiring additional compilation. They are derived from the idea of code reuse. Other terms used to describe web widgets include: gadget, badge, module, webjit, capsule, snippet, mini and flake.

Who in the fuck comes up with these names? I want a job like that, I could sit in a room and think of as many annoying and assanine names for one thing as I possibly could. I bet I’d make millions. Also, there are so many webjits out there it could drive you insane. That’s right, I changed it up and called it a webjit. You better memorize all those names in the definition or you will become lost very quickly.

These modules are everywhere, Myspace, Facebook, Apple, Xanga and even here on WordPress. Your head would be spinning if you tried to learn them all. Don’t get me wrong, a limited number of capsules are cool, and maybe even important.  Such as stock market info, flight info, or weather.  Otherwise, how many versions of a countdown clock, text scroller, or crush meter do I really have to look at during the day. In my opinion, people who overuse widgets on their Myspace or Facebook page need a new hobby. Go outside and ride a bike, read a book, donate plasma…whatever. I don’t want to see your countdown clock that tells me how much longer it is until Friday night, I am well aware!

Oh No! Save Us Please!

Oh No! Save Us Please!

The Top Widget Capsule Flakes I Hate:

  • Own Your Friends – Own me, I dare you! Your car will be on fire shortly there after.
  • Buy A Gift – Congrats, you just spent REAL money on a FAKE gift. If you go here there is a picture of a spider for sale if your interested. You must be.
  • Crush Meter – Guess what…someone is fucking with you!
  • Text Scroller – I can read just fine without you having to move the text in order for me.
  • Compare Your Movie Taste – Here’s an idea…watch a movie together and grow up!
  • Pass A Drink – Cheap. Buy me a real drink and we’ll talk.
  • What Kind Of Kisser Are You? – Let me think, my computer remembers that one time I kissed it when I was really really drunk and looking at Angelina Jolie pics, I don’t think any machine will know the answer to this.

Now, get this. Businesses are using widgets as marketing campaigns, relying on their “viral tendencies” to spread the word. One person displays the widget, and then all of that persons friends view and select “add to my page” or “add to my profile.” It seems very impersonable and a little bit cheesy to me. Whatever works for you though, no money out of my wallet.

Also beware that widgets are commonly used maliciously, as they can be created by anyone.

On the other hand, the bad always comes with the good. There are some pretty nifty gadgets out there to express yourself. Snippets such as bumper stickers, pieces of flair, and an assortment of online and popular mini games. It’s up to you, in my opinion, the widget world is flooded with crap.

I’ll take my widgets in a Guinness bottle please, you can have the rest. mMmMmMm Guinness!


Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Business Week – Why Widgets Don’t Work