stress defined

19 01 2009

Stress (noun) – a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense.

A prime example of this definition is being told that no one can tell you how many more days you have left in Iraq. Also, an impression of incompetence from the Air Force, who’s sole mission is to fly planes in and out of here, on a schedule, but they can’t even get that right. How hard can it really be for the Air Force to reserve three flights, which they already fly in and out of here all the time, and let us get the hell out of here. What the fuck! I need to get out of this fucking country, I need to be with the people I love, and I need to go to sleep….

That’s all. Fuck today!





the a/c unit

14 01 2009

This is my short tale of a magical wall hanging air conditioner;

Walking to use the phone at the MWR yesterday, I pulled out my ID card to show to the guard. After his greeting, and my pleasant reply, I walked off toward the building. There is a guard shack in between where I was and the building. I begin to walk around it, glancing up quickly to check the area, and put my head back down to focus on putting my ID back in my pocket. As I looked back up, no sooner, WHAM! Face meets air conditioner. I didn’t bump into it, I didn’t slide around it, I walked directly into it. Face first, full speed, no reaction. Boy did I feel dumb, so dumb in fact, I decided to share.

This isn’t my first a/c unit run in out here either, oh no, don’t be fooled. A few months ago I did the same thing. Only I was running, and my attention was elsewhere. That one hurt a lot worse though, so it’s not as funny!

In closing, God, I appreciate the gesture of miraculously placing air conditioners where they never were before, but please stop putting them in front of me.





the combat shower defined

4 01 2009

The combat shower – v. (unofficial)  The act of washing one self in the most inconvenient possible manner. Typically used for water conservation purposes in areas where water is a precious commodity. It involves highly volatile steps to ensure the proper usage of water

I never learned what to do at a yellow stop sign!

I never learned what to do at a yellow stop sign!

The process of taking a combat shower:

  1. Enter shower and turn on water to wet body. 2 minutes max!
  2. Turn water back off.
  3. Wash body with soap, shampoo and other fine self care products. If you have to shave something, sorry!
  4. Turn water back on, rinse.  2 minutes max!
  5. DO NOT REPEAT! I swear, if you repeat….
  6. Get out. Towel dry, or air dry, your choice. I prefer to air dry with the helicopter method, followed by a series of floor slides (reference Tom Cruise in Risky Business)

In this specific case however, the combat shower is enacted in an attempt to maintain enough hot water to last through the day.  However, these attempts are in vain, as nobody is going to willingly take a combat shower if it is not actively being enforced. So, now we have just wasted money on these signs in a futile attempt at comfort. How is a combat shower comfortable in the first place?

I personally prefer to run around and look for hot water at random shower rooms anyway. It’s one of the high points of my day. My ideas, although uneducated and irrelevant, suggest that maybe 2 shower rooms (2 small water heaters and 10 showers each) is not enough for 400+ people. Whatever though, waste money on signs, to save money on showers. I’m out in 17 days…. that’s more exhilarating than any number of cold showers in 30 degree weather!





my official blog inauguration…

3 01 2009

I started this blog so I could be another voice in the social world. Everyone else gets a chance to voice their opinion, as will I. This will be a narrative of things that happen to me, or anything that affects me. It will chronicle my journey through life, and all the stupid shit that it entails. It’s probably gonna be complete and utter bullshit, but hopefully you get some entertainment value from reading it. If not, then screw you!

OK, let’s get right into it then.

Only three weeks left in this hell of a country called Iraq.  It’s been a long ride. 14 months so far, to be exact. I can’t tell you exactly what we’ve done for this country, as I am only a tiny cog, on a semi small sized gear, that moves a giant machine.  I can tell you that for one busy month of April, last year, we rocked Sadr City. Now it’s just a matter of taking the helicopters out, firing expensive missiles into open desert, and making sure everything works. I guess we are doing our part to boost the economy and lower oil prices at the same time. Oh, wait? No. I wish I understood better what our unit has done over here. I wish I could tell you all exciting stories of creating peace and building democracy in this nation, but I can’t. I don’t see what goes on, I spend my 12 hours daily in a hangar fixing an apache, that surely has not destroyed any kind of insurgency in the last number of months.

To be honest, I think our job is done here. All I read about is how Iraqis want us out of this country, that they feel ready to assume command of their nation. I say let ’em! It’s their country, and they want us gone. We are no longer welcome, and no one I talk to has the desire or motivation to stay. Sounds like an easy fix to most…

Not to forget, this war has not done marvelous things for soldiers either. The sacrifices made by most are indeed commendable. The stress put on any relationship can be terrifying. To those spouses back home who have the tenacity to stay with their loved ones, remain faithful, and supportive, I commend you! I have seen it happen too often since I have been over here. Relationships ended, divorce (another topic, another time), cheating. It sickens me! When you’re in the shoes of the soldiers I work around, you wonder why? Why are we continually having to put our personal lives on the line if this war is over? Nobody knows….

To clarify, I am not against what we are doing for this country. I was never against this war, clearly, I joined the military after the start of it. Someone had to step in and take charge, and we did that. That’s what America does, but now it’s time to go. It’s time to focus elsewhere, mainly our economy, which this war has done nothing to help.