obvious day at camp stupid

17 01 2009

Today, my last day off in the country of Iraq, is also the worst day off in the country of Iraq. Fuck! It started with me spending $70 to send two boxes home, which really, I’m not even sure the shit inside of them was worth $70. Whatever. Follow that up with the longest, most painstaking and worst haircut I have received, EVER! Then, to top it all of, the power was off all morning AGAIN, and I was supposed to be talking to someone important, WTF!!  I can’t fucking stand this place anymore! Thank god I leave in 4 days!

Here’s the deal, if you can’t speak a damn word of English, not one, then why do you even ask me how I want my haircut? You would probably be better off just taking a razor, and going to town with a blindfold. I might feel a little better about that myself. I have to give the guy some credit, I do admire his attention to detail though, even if it was the wrong style. His attention to detail was so precise in fact, it took him 45 minutes to finish my haircut. I watched two other people come and go next to me while I was sitting there.

Aaaaaagh! Shit. OK, I’m done bitching now, I think. I’m gonna go back to enjoying my little german ball covered citrus fruit jellies… they are delicious. Also, i had another banana in my pocket today, just so you all knew. Threw in a kiwi or two also. Now fuck off!

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what’s that?

11 01 2009

So on the way out of breakfast this morning, i grabbed myself a banana, fully hoping it would somehow make up for the immorally fattening meal I consumed.

I stuck that banana in my pocket.

Halfway back to my room, I realize that I am walking around with a huge bulge in my coat pocket, conveniently hanging right in front of my crotchal region.

So I left it there, and everybody I passed I just imagined them saying:

“Hey, is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”

True story. Ask Kyle. And Iraq sucks.