sprawled out and disconnected

17 01 2009

A day off may not have been the best idea, at least not with so few days left. Don’t get me wrong, I cherish my free time and take it whenever I can get it! However, today is just dragging along so damn slowly. I just want today to be over. The excitement, the anticipation, the stress; it’s all killing me. I mean, seriously, I have four days left in Iraq and all I really want right now is for today to be over. Don’t take that the wrong way, I’m extremely enthusiastic about returning home.

So many of the little things I miss, that you might have no idea anyone would actually want to do. Things like shopping for my own groceries, or getting the chance to get stuck in traffic so I can just listen to the radio in my own little world. Even cleaning the house, because you can take pride in it knowing that it won’t still look dirty no matter how much you clean it (everything in Iraq looks like ass). Holy shit, I can’t wait. But for now, I sit here, glued to my computer, browsing countless bits of useless information and searching for somebody, anybody, to talk to online. I’m freaking bored. What to do…hmmm?

How about a list of things I plan to do the first weekend I get back. Sounds exciting (you better be fucking excited!)

  • Captain and coke – or Captain and Captain, or just Captain, who knows. Maybe on the rocks. Maybe wearing socks?
  • Have My Girlfriend Call Me – that’s right, I’m tired of always calling at the most inopportune and absurd times of the night, so baby, you call me and wake me up!
  • Hamburger Helper – I know, lame right? Well screw you. It’s one of my favorite quick meals, with turkey though, not beef. So, turkey helper….
  • Grocery Shopping – Again, lame, but the concept of food on demand just blows my mind. Right?
  • Sleep All Day – One day of sleep, without something blowing up, without someone walking into my room, without someone knocking on my door. Just sleep.
  • Go for a drive – Simple. A high speed pursuit might be nice too? That is, if it doesn’t take me a whole day and a half to be comfortable going the speed limit again.
  • Jack in the Box tacos – I have to, it’s tradition, it goes with the Captain, and very well at that.
  • Golf – yes, I would like to get in a round of golf, weather permitting.

Anyway, that was totally random. If you’re head hurts, that is your IQ physically destroying itself, so caution! Sorry for putting this disclaimer last, I’ll get that right one of these days.

Something else totally random and highly amusing. At the PX (post exchange, its the military store) tonight, I came to the realization that the pregnancy tests should not be one of the first items to sell out everyday. At least not when we’re not authorized to screw fuck hump fornicate with each other. I’m not in it to ruin things for all the people that are getting some over here, by all means! I’m just saying, this doesn’t raise a red flag to anyone!? It should, I mean, whatever happened to combat effectiveness? Haha, I can’t write this anymore with a straight face. Whatever, do what you gotta do. If married couples are living together over here, then it must not be as big a deal as you make it sound.

I think I’ve shoveled enough shit on this page to last a while, maybe I’ll go draw up a good exit strategy for the middle east. More to follow….

And be sure to check out my newest page, Iraq Things, where you can find a photo journal of things in Iraq.

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